Why “We’ll Decide Later” About a Parent’s Home Creates Legal and Family Risk in BC

Why “We’ll Decide Later” About a Parent’s Home Creates Legal and Family Risk in BC

The phrase that feels safe—but quietly multiplies conflict

If I had a dollar for every time a family said:“We’ll decide later. There’s no rush.”…about a parent’s home in Vancouver, I could buy half a block in Kerrisdale.On the surface, it sounds kind.
Gentle.
Non-confrontational.Underneath, it’s one of the riskiest phrases in the entire senior-housing conversation.

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What “We’ll Decide Later” Really Means

When families say “we’ll decide later,” they’re usually saying:

• “We don’t want to feel this yet.”
• “We don’t want to upset Mom or Dad.”
• “We don’t want to trigger sibling conflict.”

Totally human.
Completely understandable.But here’s the uncomfortable truth:The decision isn’t actually being delayed.
It’s just being made later—under pressure, with fewer options.

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How Delay Turns Into Legal Risk in BC

Here’s how this commonly plays out in Vancouver and across BC:

• No clear written plan for the house
• No shared understanding of what happens if capacity changes
• No agreement on whether the home is:
  • A care-funding source
  • A future inheritance
  • Or a mix of both

Then something happens:

• A health event
• Cognitive decline
• Or death

Suddenly:

• Executors step in
• Power of Attorney actions are scrutinized
• Old conversations are remembered… very differently

That’s when phrases appear like:

• “You sold too soon.”
• “You waited too long and wasted money.”
• “You took control without us.”

And that’s how lawyers quietly enter the chat.

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The Hidden Structural Problem

This isn’t really about emotions.It’s about structure.When families delay:

• Authority is unclear — who decides, and when?
• Timing is fuzzy — what actually triggers action?
• Purpose is undefined — care funding, legacy, or both?

So when stress hits, everyone reacts from their own assumptions.That’s how emails begin with:“As you know, Mom always said…”…and suddenly the family is rewriting history from memory—while grieving.

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A Classic Vancouver Scenario

Three adult children.
A parent in a long-owned Vancouver Special in East Van.Everyone says:“We’ll talk about the house later.”Years pass.Then:

• The parent’s cognition declines
• One child lives nearby and is heavily involved
• Two live farther away and are less involved

The local child—holding Power of Attorney—tries to juggle:

• Care
• Bills
• The house

They sell the home to fund care, under pressure.Later, after the parent passes:

• The other siblings feel blindsided
• They question price, timing, and spending
• Resentment hardens into legal tension

All of this could have been dramatically softened by earlier, uncomfortable—but clear—conversations.

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How to Replace “We’ll Decide Later” With Something Safer

You don’t need every answer today.
But you do need a framework.

1. Define Triggers

Agree on what forces a decision to be revisited:

• “If Mom has two significant falls…”
• “If the doctor advises no more living alone…”
• “If care costs exceed $X per month…”

These remove guesswork later.

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2. Clarify Authority

• Who holds Power of Attorney?
• What decisions can they make alone?
• How will siblings be kept informed?

Clarity here prevents accusations later.

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3. Clarify the Purpose of the Home

Ask—and answer—this explicitly:

• Is the home primarily a care-funding asset?
• Is preserving equity for inheritance a major goal?
• Is safety and stability the top priority, full stop?

Unspoken assumptions are where conflict lives.

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4. Document Agreements

Nothing fancy. Even a simple email recap helps:“Here’s what we agreed for now.”When something changes, you’re not arguing about the past—you’re following a plan.

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Key Takeaways

• “We’ll decide later” doesn’t avoid conflict—it defers and multiplies it
• In BC, unclear timing + unclear authority + a high-value property = real legal risk
• You don’t need every answer today—but you do need a shared map

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A Calm Next Step

If your family is stuck in “we’ll decide later” around a Vancouver property:

• Consider a short, structured family conversation
• Bring in your BC estate lawyer or financial planner to sanity-check the framework
• And if you want a neutral, real-estate-based view of your options—without pressure—I can help you walk through the scenarios before things get messy

Because the goal isn’t rushing.It’s reducing risk while you still have choices.

Next Step: Request the Family Transition Map™ — a clarity-first timeline designed to protect families before pressure takes over.

Kevin Lynch Seniors' Property Transition Advisor Remax Crest Realty
Important note: This video is educational and informational only. It does not replace legal, tax, or financial advice. Estate planning outcomes vary, and professional guidance should be sought for individual situations.